Life 6: Metal - One Love

Tonight, I am grieving the loss of something very dear to my heart. I feel that a small part of what has defined my soul and character has been removed. Part of me is able to understand the gravity of what has happened, but part of me is in shock and disbelief. Cognitively, I am able to comprehend the need for change and growth, but spiritually and emotionally, I am feeling a tremendous sense of loss and sorrow. Metal is no more; Boston will have one combined team with open tryouts to all comers.

The Metal Ultimate experience was amazing! Metal Ultimate was the definition of what Ultimate Frisbee is all about. Cambridge Ultimate was a group of ballers imbued with a spirit for the game that was unsurpassed. This spirit translated into a positive camaraderie on the field and a genuine honest friendship off the field. The love and compassion that each player felt for each other is something rare and unique. It defines what Ultimate Frisbee should be, but more importantly, it has defined every person that has ever been a part of the Metal experience. We could hang out together and play ultimate with the best of them!

For me the loss is most difficult because I feel genuine empathy for those that played on Metal simply because it was Metal. These are the players, myself included, who do not have the inclination to play for one Boston team or who could not make the cut to play for a team of this caliber. Clearly, it is the latter part of that statement that is the reason why this new team will be created, but it is the former part of the statement that makes my heart ache, my stomach burn, and tears well in my eyes. For some, this is the beginning of something new and a new iteration in their ultimate journey. For others, this is an opportunity to be a part of the best team in Boston. And for all of us, this is the end of a very special chapter in our lives. Metal Ultimate has been a defining part of our lives, and now we must realize that our lives have been positively transformed forever. Ultimate is life and Metal was life.

After I heard the news, I had long conversations with Jason Adams, Tim O'Leary, Will Neff and Misha Horowitz. We were all on the same page, but somehow very distant in that same moment. All five of us are now on different paths that will most likely not cross in our continuing Ultimate careers while for the past few years our paths have been so intimately intertwined. Jason will start a new co-ed team, Will will play for the new Boston team, Tim will most likely be finished with his illustrious career, I am not sure what Misha's future will hold and I will not continue to play at the elite club level for the time being.

The betrayal, sadness, and frustration run deep. I have been a member of Twisted Metal for the past five years, and I was not even privy to the discussion that ended this part of my Ultimate career. I was informed that it was over without any opportunity for candor and discussion. I do feel betrayed, but mostly sad and frustrated because I am grieving the loss of something so dear to my heart and a group of men that I truly love and respect. The hurt is palpable and it will take some time to truly get over this loss.

Metal has helped me learn so much about myself and my character over the past five years that I am a proud to have been a part of such an amazing experience. This is a truly unique program that has redefined why many play the game. Ultimate is an organic experience that is a window to the soul with equal parts of spirit of the game and competitiveness. Metal was hopefully a beacon of light that reflects what the sport should be in a world of fierce competition and fiery sportsmanship. Perhaps what is missing from Metal will be reforged on this new team in Boston; perhaps the glory days of Boston Ultimate will return with renewed vigor. I hope that just as Metal can take a page out of the playbook of DoG, this new team will take out a few pages from each of these playbooks to realize that both have something very important to give to the sport and this Ultimate community.

I love Metal. I love the Men of Metal. I love being a part of Metal. But more importantly, no matter what happens, I will always have this love. I support everyone who has been involved in this experience and would like to thank them all for being such an integral parts of my life. We will forever be Metal, gentlemen, and we will forever be ballers!

We are collection of brothers with one goal: Balling Out of Control!